Many older adults worry about dementia. The aging process normally includes some forgetfulness, but dementia is quite different.
Normal forgetfulness
reduced ability to multitask. The aging brain simply needs to slow down and do one thing at a time. It may take longer to do things, but they do get done.
slower recall. An older adult might not remember a word or event right away, but will eventually. It might take a few minutes, or hours, but the memory will surface.
Dementia is more disorienting
It involves the inability to make new memories. It’s like a blank slate. The memory just isn’t there. The event didn’t stick. Dementia also involves losing the ability to do even common activities, such as use a phone or make change. Tasks that require multiple steps will become increasingly difficult.
The early stage of dementia can be one of confusion, fear, and depression. Even if there is no formal diagnosis, the person with the memory issue often senses that something is wrong. And he or she may still have enough self-awareness to understand the consequences of a disease such as Alzheimer’s. It’s equally likely that the person may not recognize their own decline. They just don’t recall recent events. It’s nothing they are doing on purpose. It’s not like they can “try harder.” They can’t. The memories simply don’t form.
Below are some common signs of the early stage of dementia. (Most people at this stage show at least some of these symptoms.)*
Memory and thinking skills
Problems with numbers (adding, subtracting, paying bills on time, balancing the checkbook)
Problems with planning and organizing
Forgets recent events
Loses things
Easily distracted
Communication
Trouble finding words or names
Repeats questions or stories soon after saying them
Behavior and mood
May become depressed, withdrawn, or irritable
Daily self-care
Eventually needs help with household affairs, such as cooking and cleaning (signs of a possible problem: scorched pots or moldy food in the refrigerator)
May have trouble taking medications as directed
May get lost or confused when driving or walking, even in familiar areas
Trouble managing money (signs of a possible problem: shut off notices from the utility company. Also very susceptible to scams and con artists)
In the early stages, you may not even know there is a problem. Your family member may just seem a little less “with it.” People are very adept at compensating. And if your relative is married, a spouse may naturally take up the slack. But if you suspect something is not right, get a full medical assessment just to be sure.
Early diagnosis is important. Medications are available that can slow the progression of the symptoms. And it may be that your loved one’s confusion is caused by something such as depression, which can be cured. The sooner your family member gets tested, the sooner treatment can begin.
Deciding who to tell and when. Many people feel ashamed of a diagnosis of dementia. And some people or situations may become uncomfortable once a diagnosis is disclosed. This is a very personal decision.
Concern about driving. Driving requires thinking and good spatial skills. Dementia impairs both of these. The person with dementia is not likely to even recognize they have a problem. Everyone will eventually need to retire from driving. Knowing exactly when to stop is complicated. Read our article about driving safely and talk with the doctor.
Depression is big. Depression can cause many of the same symptoms as dementia. And, a person with memory problems can get very frustrated and feel very blue. Especially after a formal diagnosis, it is not uncommon for the patient to become depressed. The good news is that depression can be treated. Staying on top of the depression can at least lessen the number of factors contributing to your relative’s confusion or distress.
Join a support group. People in the early stages of dementia have special problems and needs. So do their family members. Gathering with others can provide a tremendous amount of comfort for you both. You are also likely to learn valuable tips for handling common situations.
Important legal and financial decisions. This is the time to make decisions about financial and medical matters. Now, when your loved one is still able to assess options, he or she should complete an advance directive. Your relative should also arrange for a will or living trust. He or she should assign a person to handle finances when managing money becomes too difficult. See our article about proxy decision makers in Your Changing Role.
I can't say enough about the calm, steady wisdom and insight that Kerry conveys. She's warm, thorough, and knowledgeable and has given me tremendous peace of mind as I navigate care needs for my Mom.
I am beyond grateful for the comprehensive, compassionate care provided by Grace Life Care, sensitively delivered by founder Kerry Davis and her colleague Maureen Costa. As an out of state caregiver, I was overwhelmed by the challenge of securing care for my mother. Kerry and Maureen combine their medical expertise and expansive network of resources to offer all-encompassing care management services. They are coordinating my mom’s overall medical care. They were instrumental in helping my mom successfully settle into assisted living, ensuring a smooth transition via frequent visits to, and communication with, the assisted living community and providing opportunities for thoughtful engagement in the broader community, where my mom spends time with Maureen one-on-one. I am indebted to them for the support they continue to empathetically provide to my mom (and to me).
Grace Life Care has been such a blessing in my moms and my life. There is absolutely no way I could have navigated the past couple of years without Kerry. Caring for my mom with dementia while living out of state along with being the only family member after my dad and sister passed, has been the most challenging time of my life. She is currently in a Memory Care Facility. Kerry and now Maureen visit weekly and help coordinate care for my mom.I am so thankful for Grace Life Care. Truly angels on earth.
As an attorney I need someone I can trust to assist me in helping elderly clients manage their medical needs when family is not an option. Grace Life Care has handles several clients for me all with positive outcomes.
I have had the pleasure of working professionally with Kerry for quite a few years. Moving to an assisted living community can be overwhelming for a senior navigating the process on their own and also for family members who don't live locally (or do!). Our families who have worked with Kerry are grateful for her knowledge as an RN during medication changes, hospitalizations or other medical concerns. She is an advocate for her clients. If you need help managing the care of an senior relative or yourself, I would recommend calling Kerry to see if she can help!